How to Deal with Cold Noses and Wet Blankets (Part II)

Then there are the other ones, the Wet Blankets and the Cold Noses. We've all run into them, the naysayers of gloom and doom. Cold Noses are worse---they stick  those noses into your creative life and try their best to freeze your enthusiasm. It's harder to ignore a Cold Nose than a Wet Blanket. You could always disregard a Wet Blanket's Pessimism, or at the very least, toss them in the Dryer for a few cycles. A Cold Nose is like getting your tongue stuck frozen on a flagpole. You can get it unstuck, but it's pretty damn painful.


I ran into a Cold Nose/Wet Blanket combo just earlier today. It's not unusual to find one with the other, one following the other, or both in one delightful package. This one was the specialty package.


"What're you doing on your computer?"


"Just doing some editing." (I had a picture editing site up, processing digital pics of my recent art).


"Really? Wow. You know, those colors look too bright. Maybe if you move the slider a bit that way."


(pause). "They're supposed to be that bright."


"No, trust me, that doesn't look natural at all. Maybe if you crop it from here...no, it'd look kinda lopsided. This doesn't look like a real person. Looks more...'organic'."


"You make 'organic' sound like a bad thing."


(Cold Nose/Wet Blanket backpedals) "Oh, no, it really isn't. I know some kinds of art isn't supposed to be like Da Vinci or Michaelangelo."


"Or a technical drawing."


"I'd be lousy at technical drawings. They wouldn't get done because I'd be obsessed with getting it exactly right."


"But this isn't a technical drawing, and this is my style."


"Oh, I know that, but still..."


Yes, this was an actual conversation. Cold Noses don't care about your boundaries; your business becomes theirs and they have all sorts of "helpful" advice to impart to  you. First and foremost, learn the magic of containment. Julia Cameron talks about this in her "Artist's Way" series, and her advice can save your sanity. Don't share your artistic work indiscriminately. Find supportive people that will offer constructive criticism while nurturing your talents. It sounds difficult, but your personal cadre of cheerleaders can make the difference.


Wet Blankets try to dampen your enthusiasm. They point out how difficult it is to make a living in the arts. Artists are crazy, broke and/or drunkards. Can't you find a steady, reliable job that brings in a predictable income? Get your head out of the clouds and back to reality. Their negativity is enough for you to tear up your manuscript, burn your canvases, and find a pub somewhere.


We're hypersensitive to criticism like this. We must learn to have selective hearing and thick skins. A writer friend of mine puts it this way, "Those who can, do. Those who can't, tear down the ones who do. Don't let 'em." Sound advice. Ignore such gloom and doom (easier said than done), and/or get away from the Wet Blanket. Some people decide to throw the Wet Blanket in the dryer for a couple of cycles. Others gently hang them out to dry on a clothesline. 


Still others fold the Wet Blankets and store them in their linen closet. The problem with that is that eventually, all your towels get soaked as well, and that leads to all sorts of moldy problems. It takes courage to throw out the ruined stuff and restock with pretty sheets and fluffy towels.


It also takes courage to find the Warm Fuzzies and Itchy Toes. They're out there. If they're not local, then find some writers/artists/sculptors/jewelry makers/scrapbookers/designers/whatever your specialty on-line. Support is crucial to finding your bliss and nurturing it against the Cold Noses and Wet Blankets. 


Go on and be daring!






All original writing and art copyright A. Dameron 2000-2010

Creative People!

I. The Most Creative Person I've (Personally Known)

I majored in foreign languages and education during my undergraduate years at Virginia Tech. One of my practicum assignments was in a 4th grade classroom at Murray Elementary in Charlottesville, VA. I had the honor of working with the most creative person I've known. Alex Davis was enthusiastic about teaching; she showed her love of learning through interesting projects with the kids.

Unlike many teachers, she involved her students in some decision-making. At the end of each quarter, she met with every student to discuss their grades. Beforehand, she asked them to write down a)what kind of grade they thought they deserved for the quarter and b)why. I expected them to give themselves all A's, but interestingly enough, they were brutally honest in their assessments, and were pretty accurate.

She encouraged problem solving, independent thinking and journal writing. All this within a careful structure: Every morning, she opened each class with a problem or question, and went over each day's schedule, Alex was also a superb timekeeper and usually left herself enough time to summarize what we did that day.

I thought she was a wonderful and gracious woman who was willing to open her classroom to a novice teacher. I wasn't surprised to find out she'd been nominated for Teacher of the Year that year.

II. The Most Creative Person I'd LIKE to Know
Julia Cameron in my ideal creative person. She the author of The Artist's Way, Vein of Gold, and The Right to Write, among other books. Sheadvocates a creative life by going out and doing it. Writers write, artists paint, draw, or sculpt, musicians compose and play, actors act. Enough said.

She's realistic in her expectations. Perfection isn't required. Ms. Cameron has a child-like quality that's essential for play. Her family encouraged her and her five siblings to lead lives true to their natures. Although she's dealt with bad events in her life(including a messy divorce from a well-known film producer,  and an alcohol problem), she triumphed over them. Ms. Cameron wants to help people realize their talents and dreams too.

III. Okay...how am I creative?
I can write without worrying about whether people like it or not. I keep several journals and blogs (both on and off-line). I paint, draw, and collage, and try new techniques. I seek out new places to visit and people to meet. I like bold colors like scarlet red and royal purple and unique pieces of jewelry.

I have two autistic children and every day is a creative challenge to draw them out of their isolated world. What can I do when there are temper tantrums, or a bare-bottomed child trying to escape her diaper?  Creative mom to the rescue!



All writing and art copyright A. Dameron 2000-2010